If you don't believe me, taste for yourself.

Assholes taste just like the eraser on a #2 pencil.

Yeah, yeah...I've heard folks say that it tastes like pennies but that's fuckin bullshit. I could tell them apart in a blind lick test ANY DAY OF THE FUCKING WEEK.

Tata for now.

Pussies and Infants

Pussies and infants are so similar in that you have to smack them around all the time and you get to put your fingers in them.

And if they don't get wet on their own, you spit on them.

Wet Hair

Women who leave their house with wet hair are disgusting. I saw one at the 7-11 buying lotto tickets yesterday (go figure) and it made me realize a few things that wet hair says about a woman's character.

1. Poor Effort: You know what a young fella thinks when he sees that?? "Gosh, if she goes out of the house with her hair looking like that, imagine how gross her pussy must look." Ladies, take the time to clean yourself up before you leave the house...and that includes blowdrying your hair and running a fucking comb thru it too.

2. Poverty: Watch any movie about white trash women and guaranteed, you will see at least one woman who has perpetually wet hair. Do you want to look poor?

3. Sweat: It looks like they're sweating! Girls are only supposed to sweat when they're getting banged or working out. And they should shower immediately after a workout before leaving the gym. If she cannot shower at the gym, I recommend this outfit to prevent any embarrassing encounters with ever judging (and rightfully so) men.

The funniest kind of therapy.

Obviously is chemotherapy.

But seriously folks:

What is the worst thing about a toddler on chemo?

You can't pull on his hair when you fuck him from behind.

Zoinks!!

Hung over.

Have you ever had to shit so bad that it gives you a headache?

That's pretty much how I feel right now.